Feeling Frustrated

I'm having some anxiety today, as I balance the checkbook and look at all the bills coming due towards the end of the month. W's worker's comp checks are coming in at random times, not when we're used to them coming, and it's really messing with the budget. Not to mention we have the wedding this weekend, W's little brother, on the beach, HERE, I'm doing the ceremony. His entire family, plus friends will be here, and there will be much partying, stuff like that. We can probably get away without spending too much then, but the following weekend we are trekking up to Pennsylvania for the fancy reception to the wedding and there will be gas money and expenses needed there, and I don't know how we're gonna swing it all. On top of all of that, W's taxes on the truck are due *my hick state charges personal property taxes on vehicles* by the end of the month. I just don't think the savings will stretch far enough to cover all of it and I'm very frustrated about all of it. I also feel like I may be getting sick. Like, crud in the lungs/chest kinda suck. If that happens, how the hell am I going to perform a fricking wedding? Ugh.

We had so much fun on vacation, and were able to forget about all of the crud, but it's all back slamming me in the head again. With no hours at the station the past two weekends, and none planned the next two weekends, that won't be a fall back for the budget, either.

I just wish I knew of a way to get some extra money. I know Christmas will be ok, because I've been putting the money in the Christmas club account. Maybe we will have some leftover, but I don't know. Then we'll be waiting and waiting for tax refund, which will get us a little bit of wiggle room, but not a lot. I'm not even sure how much we'll get this year, because W hasn't had ANY taxable income this year, which means only MY money will count toward refund. Which just isn't THAT much. *sigh* I'm sick of this. Sorry, y'all. I'll quit bitching now. We dug our own holes with bad decisions, so we have noone else to blame for some of it. However, the bad luck of the injury and job loss, insurance loss, and some other unavoidable bills just make it all too much for me sometimes. I'll be fine eventually.