new stuff/updates/etc

Hello hello. Been a busy little bee, and away from Blogger for quite a while, again.

We had another round of sickness run through the house, complete with pneumonia for Bubba, which entailed breathing treatments and antibiotics, but no hospital. We had taken him to the ER the week before for a really high fever and they told us it was a norovirus thing. That bill was ridiculous but I used savings to pay it off so it's taken care of. I had a wicked cough and respiratory infection type thing, was too stubborn to go to the doc and the cough stuck around for about three full weeks. I got really tired of coughing up green chunks. I did have my doc call me in a cough med with codeine so I would at least get some rest cause I wasn't sleeping worth a damn after two weeks of the cough. It didn't make me loopy or anything, but it kept the cough minimal overnight and I started to sleep better.

So the biggest update has to do with W and workers comp. Next Tuesday we will finally be settling with them relating to the wages aspect. Medicals get left open because of the drugs he has to take and other issues. Won't be open forever, there's just other technical stuff that has to happen before it closes. So we will be paying off a bunch of bills, sticking a large portion away for mortgage payments for the foreseeable future, and spending a bit here and there on stuff. We've discussed it and are gonna be making a list, prioritizing said list, and then WAITING! then slowly work our way down the list getting those things. Some are like trips to the dentist for me and Bubba which will be high on the list. Others include a new battery for the laptop, clothes shopping for me and Bubba. And other such stuff. This won't drastically change our lifestyle because the majority of the money has to get put away so we can pay the mortgage every month. But it will free up some money each month from the three or four things we're paying off that comes out of my income. SO. We're still waiting for disability, which could be a year before we even get the hearing. THAT isn't going to help much, either, because disability income is fixed depending on what a person has worked, etc. and it is OFFSET by a portion of his worker's comp settlement. So, it won't be much to live on, either. Again, it's very easy to say that this back injury has ruined our lives.

Bubba is still doing well in school. We ripped his room apart to get it good and clean because he seemed to be aggravated by something every night when sleeping and he'd just start coughing really bad. Last night was actually his first night back in there and he slept great. Now the fun part is keeping it clean.

It's high pollen season here in the South. Pine pollen is everywhere, leaving it's yellow ugliness where ever you look. On cars, houses, grass, even a layer on the ocean. We need heavy heavy rains to get it washed down, but none forecast till the end of the week. It lasts another month or so, too. Needless to say my allergies are driving me batshit, but it's better than the three weeks of coughing I had before.

Some of my favorite news to relate is that my sister in law, Mitch, is pregnant!!!! We are so excited. She and B told us over Christmas that they've been trying for a little while. Not sure when her due date is, but we are all so very excited for them. This will bring Bubba's cousin count to four, even tho one is in Japan and we never see her.

We spent a very interesting Easter weekend. Very very nontraditional, even by our standards. Food was grilled chicken, turkey filet mignon and potato salad. Then we went to the circus. We had a fantastic time. When we got home, more non traditional food, fried bologna sammiches.

The biggest stress going on right now is work related. There's been even MORE layoffs, too many rumors to count and it's finally official that we are moving. So not looking forward to the logistics of moving my files and cabinets and everything. It's a nicer building, but I won't have an actual office anymore and very little privacy which sucks. I believe the move date is the end of this month. I don't know if I'll have to give up a weekend to come in and do stuff, cause I am adamant about being involved with my files and cabinets so they don't get all messed up.

Well, I think that's it. Hope all is well with all of you and I'll see ya around.

Christmas vacation

The weather sucks, it's cold and snowing. W trying to do some hunting, with little luck. I have been sick since we started driving up on Wednesday and still feel awful. My poor kitty cat, who was in failing health when we left, figured he'd up on die on me when I'm gone and I couldn't say goodbye and tell him how much we love him. I am so incredibly sad, I wished he had held on till we got home. Christmas itself was nice, with lots of family time, some very thoughtful gifts and the food was exceptional.

More snow expected tonite, on top of the two to three we already have...I plan on getting up to help my father in law with the clearing, since he has no business being out there alone if at all. W got stuck at little brothers because the driveway here is a mess and the car wouldn't make it...he's promised to come get me so I can meet up with a few folks from home for lunch. If I didn't have someone to drive, I would not be able to go because I can't drive in the crap because I never have. Won't risk my car. other plans for tomorrow include sled riding, chuck e cheese and a movie with my favorite sister in law. Will finally get to go see New Moon. yaayay! She's not read the books, but got the first movie for Christmas and will see the second one, too. Then I gotta get her reading them so we can try to see the others together..i also want to see Sherlock Holmes.

at some point i'll get pictures up here, more selective from the group i put on facebook...too out of it right now took a sleeping pill so the cough won't keep me up. would much rather the cough just go away.

Hope you all are doing well. Talk soon. If you're on vacation, share your stories, and I'll have more later as the fiasco of all we're trying to do tomorrow unfolds.

Here's my darling Jack, Jack-a-bear, fatboy Jack, and finally, "Hairstylist Jacque" (because he loved to bury his head in our hair and rub and lick our foreheads and all that. was very soothing) Farewell my friend, meet you under the Rainbow Bridge someday. Say hello to Tigger and Amos and Ghost and all the rest.

hey there

Hey guys and gals. Sorry I've been non existent in the blog world. Just surviving day to day.

Notable happenings in the past while:
we went to a Pelicans game, the minor league ball club here at the beach. Bubba loved it and is anxious to go again, however the season is over.

I've gone to two concerts, Trent Tomlinson, with inlaws and girls from the office. Had a blast. Rode the mechanical bull, which was a lot of fun. Kenny Chesney was the other show, down in Charleston. W and I went to that and he put on a fantastic show. Future planned concerts are James Otto, which I am very excited about, and also Jason Aldean, again incredibly excited about. Both shows are in November, so still have to wait a while. There's a possibility we'll go see Chris Young, too, but not sure about that yet.

Bubba started school!!! He absolutely loves it, and is doing well. I think he's adjusted great, with the exception of getting up at six am. Mama hasn't adjusted to that too well, either.

W is about the same, if not worse. The swelling continues to come and go, and sometimes it takes longer and longer to go away even with the heavy duty meds he takes to fix it. Doesn't look good. Still no word from disability, but once it comes down, it probably won't be good. If we have to request a hearing, I believe it takes 18 months to be heard. Crazy, huh. Then if we actually get it from the hearing, there's other problems, like the fact that his monthly amount still won't really be enough to live on.

Mama is still unable to find work. She's incredibly frustrated and I don't blame her.

The inlaws came for a visit the week Bubba started school, and it was fun. They had a beach house again, and we spent a lot of time there. I saw dolphins the one morning I went for a walk on the beach alone. Wish I'd had someone to share the experience with, but it still was a big boost for my mood.

let's see...Bubba has had his first sinus infection. His allergies have really kicked in, and since he doesn't like to blow his nose, it all stayed up in there and led to the infection. he still has a few more days of antibiotics, but he's feeling better. Cough gets better every day, and I'm hoping it quits soon. he missed two days of school from it too, which he was very upset about.

Other than that, it's the same around here. Hope all is well with everyone. As usual, I'm always on Facebook if anyone has the desire to check in.

long, boring, rant-filled update

I should apologize for non-posting, but what's the difference? I should say I'll try to write more, but why? I think all of you that read my blog have the ability to follow me on Facebook, and I enjoy short little blurbs as status updates there and they obviously don't take as long to type. I WILL however, put as much into the post as I can, as a full and complete update on the many goings on in my world.

OFFICE: it sucks, as usual, but I'm still grateful to have a job at all, even one that I dislike and that drives my stress level to outrageous degrees. Boss1 fell and broke his wrist, and has been in a cast for two weeks, with about four more to go. He's not signed a thing since, so all the motions we've done lately have MY version of his signature along with my initials. I don't like signing the motions, but I don't have any choice. It does speed up the processing of new files, because I don't have to pile things up for him to sign. I just do them, print them, sign them, copy them and fax/mail them and it's done. Boss2 is also busy with various stuff, and sometimes it is hard to juggle it all, but that's what I'm paid to do, so I do it.

STATION: That's going well. After a drought of hours the past few weeks, I'm fully booked this weekend, and the following two. I haven't been on air for a while, but I will be this weekend. It is good and bad to be this busy with the station, good for the pocket book, bad for family time. But I gotta do something, we're barely squeaking by again.

HUSBAND: I don't even know where to begin with this. His back is no better, which is as expected. He has developed some other complications, basically related to the nerve damage. Edema. Swelling, retaining of water to the non medically inclined. Mainly in his feet and legs. When it's acting up bad, he has no ankles. It causes his feet to hurt really bad (on top of the back pain, yay) and they are both very discolored and he's got reduced feeling to them as well. Workers Comp is still fighting us about it being related to his back, so of course, they aren't paying for the scripts (now three, up from one) he's taking to combat the problem. Some days he can't walk. He still has really bad insomnia, even after taking sleeping pills, on top of all the other meds. He's a walking pharmacy worse than he was a year ago. He's also been falling. Not a lot, but everytime it scares me to death. It will only take one time when I'm not there, for him to bonk his head, or break his neck, or something. That's a stress inducer, too.

BUBBA: Ornery as hell, but what should I expect, he's almost six. Poor kid has had a rough ride lately, with mama being stress out and impatient, and daddy being a drugged up basic invalid. I try to make things as normal as I can for him but he's not dummy. He knows money is an issue, which is something I never wanted to be obvious to him. He starts kindergarten in 24 days. I am so excited, but nervous. I want him to do well, and fit in and make friends. But he's a bossy git, and doesn't listen (at least to me) and I don't want him getting in trouble at school, etc. He's so damn smart, and can easily make me laugh, and I love that about him. He still loves music, just like his mama. When I got a new MP3 player, he sort of inherited my old one and he walks around the house with his headphones on singing along and pretending to play guitar. He's also addicted to Star Wars, the Clone Wars stuff on whatever channel it's on. The Wii game helped that addiction along a bit. He's got lightsabres on the brain, walks around pretending there are clankers everywhere and such. He spent two weeks up in PA with Grammy and all. We went up for the 4th of July, and left him. He had a blast. Got spoiled rotten of course.

INLAWS: Same drama going on there. The wedding I already spent 170 bucks on for a dress and shoes that was set for October is officially 'postponed' at this point. Whatever. He's better off not getting hitched until they work out their issues, I'm just miffed over the money. It may all work out, and the dress is something I could wear if I ever had a black tie even to go to. haahahahahh. someday maybe, huh. The whole crew is coming down the same week Bubba starts school, for a week, along with little niece, L. They will be in a beach house, just like for Hoser's wedding, just not as close to the beach, but will still be awesome.

NEPHEW: Has shown improvement, last I heard with the plasma treatments he's been having. He's been weaning off the gobs of eye drops he's been using, not sure how often he gets them now. They removed the pic line because of the risk of infection. He won't be starting school this fall, which sucks because he could have been in the same class as Bubba. There's enough drama in that situation for two days of writing so I won't go into all of it.

CAMPING: We've done a few trips close to home with the camper, which were very fun. Mother's day and Father's day weekends, actually. The campground is right on a lake, so I could fish and fish and fish. However, we didn't catch and catch and catch. It was soo hot the second time we went, we were pretty much holed up in the camper except for mornings and evenings...looking forward to cooler weather to do it some more.

FISHING: Finally squeezed in a fishing trip to our other fishing hole as well. I caught a bunch of blue gill and a very very mean turtle. Bubba doesn't fish as much as he plays bait boy and just mainly runs around burning off energy. He'll do more actual fishing as he gets older I hope.

MISCELLANY - So the other day, I discovered a crack in the floor of the shower in our bathroom. The bathroom that gave me headaches last year when we had to remodel it. Luckily it's under warranty, however only to the point that they'll replace the base of the shower, no labor coverage. In the meantime I must shower in the spare bathroom again, which blows. I'm really trying not to bitch about it, cause there's nothing I can do. I will bitch about however much it's gonna cost us in labor, cause that totally sucks.

WEATHER: Stormy, is the best way to describe it. Lots of storms, just about every afternoon/evening....one is brewing while I type this. Hurricane season is well upon us, with no problems so far. I don't want any hurricanes this year. I don't need the stress of evacuating on top of everything else. Tho, if the house gets demolished, I won't have to worry about paying for a mortgage, would I? KIDDING.

RANT: I'm just overly frustrated with the status of my life right now. I never dreamed, even when W first got hurt that things would turn out this bad. Worker's comp in OCTOBER deemed him at MMI (maximum medical improvement) and closed the file and prepped to settle...it's now AUGUST and we haven't settled, and I don't even want to. He's getting worse by the day, and noone seems to care. I refuse to believe there is nothing for them to attempt to get him somewhat better. Are they just hoping he'll croak or something in the meantime so they don't have to pay anymore? We keep going back and forth with what to do with whatever settlement money we DO get and we aren't agreeing. He says one thing, me another, and then he is all like, it's MY money, I'll do what I want and yadda yadda yadda. But if he does something like that, I have no way to pay for the car or the house and so on.

I don't spend enough time with Bubba and I feel incredibly guilty about it, with every extra shift at the station, more guilt. I KNOW that money isn't all things, but dammit, I need to be able to pay the bills, and every so often have some fun money, and if I don't work, that doesn't happen. Between work, and trying to keep the house clean, the grass cut, the groceries bought, etc. there just isn't enough time in the day.

I'm worried about my old cat Jack. We're pretty sure it's him that is drinking excessively and urinating excessively. NOT a good sign in a 12 year old cat. I'm having to clean the cat box daily, when I used to be able to skip at least one day in between. If I don't, there's mess on the floor, which takes MORE time to clean up, and see above about not enough time as it is. I don't know how I'd handle him up and dying, but I better start preparing myself. Bubba won't handle that too well, either. Ugh.

Okay, my brain is fried. If I missed anything, sorry..I am not editing, either, so deal with the typos/spelling/whatever. Anything YOU want updated on, ask and I'll respond as soon as I can.

Just about done at the station for tonite. I'll be back for a race tomorrow and Sunday, not sure how much computing I'll do in the meantime.

Love you all, and thanks for listening. And Sp, thanks for the Facebook chat tonite. It was nice and hopefully we won't take so long to do it again.

no where else to go for this

I don't even know where to start. I know it's been a while since I posted, and I just needed to write and Facebook wasn't the place.


My nephew, A, of the eye issues, has more issues that have been recently diagnosed. Issues that regardless of what treatment they try, (since nothing works for everyone and some things don't work but for only a few,) will kill him. they've been trying this and that, varying degrees of success and now are trying something else. No one with his condition/issues has lived past adolescence. I about wrecked my car last night when my mother told me. I'm having a hard time grasping the importance of work right now when in all likelihood my brother will have to bury his son, and probably soon. A has surgery tomorrow, and the procedure following will have consequences depending on how his body tolerates it. He may go downhill quickly, he may not. we won't know.

Oh, and it isn't cancer. it's a rare thing, more prevalent in females. supposedly has hereditary links, but noone in either family has ever had similar issues. i'm just so torn up and cannot even imagine how my brother is doing, because he has to deal with crazy ex on top of all the rest, cause of course she blames him. Stupid bitch.

I'm just not with it very much right now, and don't know what to do. We've prayed and prayed and prayed. We've cried and cried. I feel utterly helpless and hopeless.

sheesh, I haven't updated in a while

Haven't been extra busy really, just nothing blogworthy.

Inlaw visit was good, albeit short. Bubba got tons of stuff, I got a bunch of books, CD's and movies I was wanting.

And I have finally been asked by the bride to be a bridesmaid...woo.

Dusty dog was sick when inlaws were here. Ear infection, led to a hematoma. We've been messing with it all last week, and then kinda figured it was fine. Cept it isn't, cause the hematoma is back again. They drained it at the emergency vet, and I've kept up with it, but this morning I wasn't able to get it to drain, the incision was too healed. So she may have to go to the vet again, unless W can get it opened and drained. She took a weeks worth of antibiotics, so I don't know why its still messed up. Already spent 250 bucks not looking forward to another vet bill.

Work is crazy at the office. In fact, I have to go, because my phone won't quit ringing and I have tons to do. But just wanted to let y'all know I'm alive and things otherwise are about the same.

car update and miscellany

Well our deductible is 500 bucks. Good thing I have enough in the savings to cover that. I keep reminding myself it could have been worse. Initial estimate on my car is 1,654 in damages. Don't know about the other vehicle, it wasn't badly damaged at all. After talking to Boss1 about the ticket, we requested a continuance on the court date, instead of our usual procedure of requesting a jury trial. He'll go to the new date and negotiate a lesser fine for us. If he can knock about half of it off I'll be happy, well not as upset.

My rental car is pretty sweet. A 2009 Chevy Impala. It's like a gunmetal blue/grey. The seat is a bit uncomfortable and I already miss my Caliber. Hoping to have it back by the end of the week. I keep forgetting to take camera to work, but once I do I'll upload pics of the damage, because of course I took some. Boss2 wants to borrow my camera so I'm supposed to take it in tomorrow.

Hanging at the station for a BobFM remote. Do any of y'all have BobFM? I love it. An example of the play list, and this is just from what is coming up in the next half hour:

Stone Temple Pilots
Fleetwood Mac
Scorpions
Pink

Had some Aerosmith and Eagles before that. As far as I know, these BOB remotes will be the majority of my hours now that NASCAR is over. At least one more football game this Friday. If they lose it's over, and if they win, I won't be around for the following weeks game. I am getting a voicetrack shift for this Sunday, which I'm not sure when I'll tape. I'll either have to come in early to do it before the football game, or stay late and do it after. I could also just come in on Saturday and Sunday to do it, but that would kinda ruin the first full weekend off I've had in forever.

Hoping to finish off Christmas shopping before we go up to PA. If not, I'll have time during my week to myself to try to get some done. That's probably when I'll get some Bubba stuff done, plus search for some new clothes for me. I'm still in need of warm weather stuff, it's gotten so damn cold here.

Well, almost time to do the last break, then head home.

Oh yeah, Bubba and I have been playing Guitar Hero a bit this week. He lost Wii privileges for some unimportant issues, not sure it makes much sense to allow Playstation, but we're doing it. He's getting a little better, but still doesn't do great. He has a lot of fun though. I, however, amaze myself with how well I do, even though my fingers HURT when I'm done. I'm playing on easy, and my career is about half done. I battled Slash of Guns 'n' Roses last night and then played Welcome to the Jungle with him, it was kinda awesome. May try to advance to medium, if we keep up playing. We haven't played in forever, and once the Wii is back, we'll most likely stick with it. I finally bowled a perfect game on the Wii. Took me long enough, but I'm glad I finally did it.

Okay, I'm really done now. Talk to y'all later.

Missy, you ok? You've been a bit quiet.

p.s. haahhahah, my blogger ad right now if about traffic tickets!!! hahahahahaha.

in an unrelated note

In another cosmically unfair turn, I can't find my hairdresser friend. She's done my hair for like two years, the last few times at her house instead of at the salon, obviously to save money. Well, I am in desperate need of a perm and trim, and gave her a call to get it scheduled....yeah....her cell phone doesn't work anymore. And she isn't at that salon, anymore, either. They don't know where she went. I SUPPOSE I could stop by the house, but I don't wanna freak her out, especially if she moved or something. We have a wedding next weekend, which I am performing, and was really hoping to have my hair under control by then. Now, if I can't track her down (I've been trying since Monday) I'll either have nasty hair or I'll have to pay twice as much somewhere else. By the way, this is the second time I've lost track of my hairdresser....the last time I saw my other favorite one, I was six months pregnant....went back to the salon for a trim when Bubba was a few months old, GONE. Noone could tell me where she went. SO yeah, don't have the best of luck with hairdressers.....

Also, one of my mom's cats died Monday night. She was 16. had been going downhill for a while, and she called me to meet me at the vet for the euth, and before they got her out the door she was just gone. Honestly, mama shouldn't have waited so long, but she just couldn't bear to lose her. She had been eating/drinking up until the very end, which is why mom never called the vet. Farewell Baby, Littlefoot, Miss Priss. We'll miss you.

Oh, yeah, 16 years ago tonite was the first time I laid eyes on W. We've been a couple ever since. Life hasn't been too kind to us lately, babe, but I love you very much. Here's to another sixteen years, hopefully a little easier. Mwah.

family portrait

One of the advantages of a professional photographer in the family is great pictures. This is our newest, and I think only real, family portrait, taken at camp I think on the 5th of July. My husband is actually smiling, which is rare to begin with, and rarer still in pictures.


Our bedroom closet decided to implode last nite. We were both just about asleep when CRASH BOOM BANG, all the contents of the shelves, including jewelry boxes, on the floor, spilled. My dress clothes for work, on the floor, because the shelving unit had fallen to about a foot off the floor. So we have a new project, which I was NOT expecting at all. W went out for the wood to make better shelves, whatever else today. So I'll get schooled in home improvement again, as I learn how to hang shelves, etc. I swear we have a black cloud over us again.

I'm expecting the call about the family friend any day now. I'll be going out for the funeral, but probably not staying over, because there just wouldn't be room, and neither my parents or I can really afford a hotel room right now. The gas to and from is gonna be bad enough. Don't think Bubba will go because his behavior is too erratic after three plus weeks being spoiled by Grammy and company (not that they admit that of course.) W just couldn't handle the trip, and being up and on his feet all day so he'll stay home, too.

Will update soon if I can.

limbo

I'm not really capable of forming the words I need right now. My mind, my life, my world is just in a state of confusion, worry and fear. Without getting into all the nitty gritty, Workers Comp is releasing W saying there is nothing else they can do for him. We know we'll have to file for disability, and we know we'll get denied and have to fight for it. I don't have that fight in me anymore. We know a settlement is on the horizon, but don't know how much, and once his weekly checks stop I have no clue how I'm going to pay the bills. If I'm away for longer than usual, it's because I just can't deal. I'm having a hard time dealing as it is. I see W slipping farther and farther away from himself every day and I fear I'll never have the real him back.

I also miss Bubba fiercely, he's still in PA.

road trippin'

Okay, so hey. Real quick. Hope everyone has a great fourth of July. I'll be out of town from tomorrow night until like Monday sometime. No computer. Will be in withdrawal, but whatever.

Pray we get there (and home) safely, as we're hauling the camper behind us, and we've never taken it long distances before. To say I'm worried is an understatement.

Things have been so so around the homefront. Bills are piling up and that's stress. W's health hasn't been great, and that's stress. Work sucks and that's stress. So the vacation is much needed, but also an additional cause of stress. It would be so nice to not have money problems, health problems, etc. etc. I'm trying to remember that others are much worse off, but when this is MY reality it's still hard.

We'll be camping, and having fires and cooking on the fires and maybe fishing (oh I hope so) and who knows what else.

We'll also be leaving Bubba for his summer visitation with the inlaws. at least a week, maybe two. The quiet is going to kill us, that's for sure. I'm so wrapped up in being mama when I'm home, I swear we don't know how to really be a couple anymore.

Anyway. Hope you all are fine. Have a great holiday however you celebrate it.

DAMMIT

The rumoured show with James Otto at the local country bar has been confirmed. I was initially extremely excited, until I saw the date. Now I'm heartbroken. It's next Saturday night. I will not be in Myrtle Beach next weekend. I would have been able to meet him and everything. I'm so upset. I held out on going to the huge music festival he was performing at because I knew he was supposed to come to the Beachwagon. While I know there are more important things to be upset about, this is just about the last straw in all the things that are just not working out in my life. I can't even mention it to my husband because he won't understand, which really, not many people will. All the little things I look forward to, the minor stuff I enjoy is all going to crap.

I'm incredibly stressed out about this trip next week (did I even mention it?) We're going camping for the fourth, up in PA, it's W's mama's birthday. No big deal, with the exception of gas prices and the fact we'll be hauling the ginormous camping trailer all the way up there, including through the treacherous mountains in WV.

I'm trying to stay positive, I really am. It's just not working. I'm not sure it'll ever work.

Bad news two days in a row is NOT a good way to start the week.

My mama was 'downsized' yesterday. In other words, fired. Stupid piece of crap company. I never should have told her about that job, it's with the same place that fired W under the loophole of FMLA. A whopping two weeks severance, which doesn't include her accrued sick or vacation time. Bastards. Not to mention her health insurance will expire at the end of the month, and there's no way she can afford the COBRA. (same problem we had with it. who has an extra grand a month for inadequate health care?)

Bubba did not get into the preschool. We got the rejection letter today. Mainly, because he's too smart. His evaluation showed he didn't need any remedial help. I suppose I could have been dishonest on the questionnaire *I* filled out about him, but that is just not me. I don't even think that would have made much of a difference because of the testing they did on him. W is supposed to check with the other school, not our district, to find out what we need to do about getting him transferred into there, if we even can. He'd already be in regular daycare if I could afford it and then he wouldn't have the issue with social skills and he'd be fine to wait a year to start kindergarten.

Other news I'm expecting soon, and I'm surprised I haven't gotten it yet: A man who is like a grandfather to me is on his deathbed. He's the patriarch of the close knit family that I grew up with. I used to babysit one batch of his granddaughters (one of which just graduated high school), and his other granddaughter is my best friend up in Ohio. He is currently under hospice care at home, they are simply keeping him medicated while his body shuts down. I wish it wasn't going to end this way, but it is. We love you George and we'll miss you.

the bathroom....

...is going slowly. I guess that's what happens when you just have one guy doing the work as opposed to a crew, but a whole crew wouldn't fit in there, anyway. The new shower BASE is in, the new exhaust fan/heater should be finished today. I'm hoping tomorrow he can do the walls and floor or at least SOMETHING that feels like tangible progress. Costs aren't outrageous but it's still hard to fathom how much total it's going to cost.

W isn't feeling much better. He's recovered from the surgery itself, but isn't getting the relief we were expecting. Which is not good news, because they've basically told us there isn't anything else they can do for him. So we're expected to live like this forever. Him in miserable pain and depressed about it and not being able to work, and me seeing my spouse suffering and not being able to fix it. Not to mention, if he can't go back to work, our financial situation will not get any better.

The office has been driving me crazy. I have no desire to continue to do this work, but have little choice due to the flexibilty this place provides. Nothing else would pay even close to what this does, considering the bonuses I get from both bosses. So I'll just plug along, miserable, but what can I do? And it's not like I have other marketable skills to put to any use. I'm a glorified secretary and a mom. Whoopee.

On a plus side (finally) W and I have a date night this Saturday. Missy, dont' get too jealous, but we're going to see Jason Aldean at the House of Blues, and courtesy of the radio station, we'll get to meet him, too. Really looking forward to it, I love his music, and we both need a night of fun. Oh, and I may have an opportunity to see James Otto *ducks from the daggers Missy is throwing* because he's supposed to be coming to one of the clubs in the area later this year. Not getting too excited about that one, because it may not happen.

Uh, I think that's all I got. I'll try to take bathroom pictures once there's something to show some progress.

surgery

is tomorrow morning...gotta be there at nine. shouldn't be super long wait, the surgeon is on call, not scheduled.

bathroom still tore up. we're looking at probably 3 grand total to fix everything, and make some other upgrades, but we're doing it in stages, the guy just can't start on it yet.

night full of running to do, once I leave the office. Bubba going to Gma's, my brother and his son will be in, so he'll have a good time. he just damn well better behave because he's been a holy terror at home. I fear that if he does get into preschool, he'll get kicked out in a week.

update as soon as I can.

RANT AHEAD, consider yourself warned

Rant the first: Explain to me how it's good medicine to have a patient (and his wife) sitting in a tiny room with a hospital bed and a tv and a sink for NINE HOURS while waiting for his surgery? I had to BEG permission to give him a pain pill. Keep in mind, he'd not had anything to eat or drink since midnite. Once noon hit, I was pissed. Why should we show up at 7 am, meaning we had to get up at 5:00 in order to get on the road in time, when they didn't even take him to the OR Holding area until 4:00 pm. That is NOT a typo. We went from the little holding room downstairs, to the slightly larger holding room upstairs NINE HOURS after we checked in. NINE FUCKING HOURS PEOPLE. Then we waited another two hours before they took him to the OR. No other profession can get away with this, and we are powerless to stop it. So help me, for this next surgery, if they tell us to show at 5 am and we might show up at noon. I cannot handle another day of watching him writhe in pain because he can't have his meds, not to mention no food or drink for that long.

Rant the second: I pay my homeowners insurance people HOW MUCH money a year for them to say, oh, sorry that water damage isn't covered. WTF?!?!?! I have no idea how much this repair is going to cost but it's not going to be cheap. The entire floor in the bathroom needs torn up, at least two walls need fixed probably replaced, we need a new shower, then tile or something for the floor. Also, part of my closet will need fixed, floor and wall. We're screwed. All night I was trying to stay positive but as we uncovered more and more damage and mold and muck my spirits just sank. There's no telling how long the water was getting where it shouldn't be. But it's been long enough to destroy the place.

The only way I can pay for this is with a credit card, and we'd sworn off them to get ourselves out of debt. We're SOOOO close to being done with cards and now this. The spare bathroom shower sucks ass, no wonder my inlaws always want to use mine. But now *I* have to use it and man, it was a miserable shower this morning.

Did I mention the timing really blows? W is having ANOTHER SURGERY as soon as possible, and I have a completely ripped up bathroom. He had a ton of running around planned for today anyway, picking up prescriptions at the doc and then getting them filled, trying to get a copy of Bubba's birth certificate (another nightmare, we can't find it, and we HAVE TO HAVE IT for preschool registration stuff. We've plowed through the safe THREE TIMES, gone through every other place we store papers and NOTHING.)

But NOW, he has to find repair stuff, still get the scripts filled and try to find someone to come and look at this stuff and get an estimate that won't make my heart stop cold. All the while dealing with a kid who's decided he doesn't need to do what we tell him to do, and heaven forbid we tell him not to do something.

Blah. Sorry y'all. I'm trying to keep positive, but I've been so incredibly stressed out and on the brink of a breakdown to begin with and now all this hits. Last week was hard enough with all the problems with W, this is just too much. It's hard to enjoy the roses when you keep getting gouged by the thorns. The littlest thing now has me about in tears.

It didn't help that someone here at work that I turned to for support shot me down with, "you are so blessed, consider yourself lucky that you have xxx and yyy." Umm. I come to you to commiserate and gripe and that's all you got? Gee thanks, but forgive me if I'm not gonna be back around anytime soon. How hard would it have been for her to say, yeah that does suck, I'm so sorry, can I do anything? (this has been an ongoing thing with her, so I guess I should have learned by now.) Of course I know I'm blessed with my child, my health, all of that. Whatever. Am I off base for expecting support from a 'friend' instead of whatever you want to call it that she did give me? I mean, there's always trying to see the good in a situation, like, at least the house didn't burn down, blah blah blah. But this came across more as dismissive of my anger at the situation. Maybe that is what I've been trying to say. She was dismissive and it hurt my feelings. I don't know. Y'all can tell me if I'm making any sense or not.

I'll be out of touch a while since it's likely surgery will be tomorrow or Friday. Just pray that it all goes well and I soon have a nice new bathroom that isn't going to bankrupt me. I don't even want super fancy at all. I just want it to WORK!

hey

Briefly: Surgery went ok, aftermath was complete hell. We're on the other side of all that NOW, but we're getting ready for round two, probably the end of this week.

All of this is compounded by the MOLD and FLOODING and ISSUES W found in MY CLOSET and bathroom. Apparantly, all my clothes are now spread across Bubba's bed, meaning he'll sleep with us tonite, joy of joys. And we get to rip apart the closet to try and find the leak. I'm so over all the issues with this damn house.

I don't even wanna mention the work drama. I hate it here. I don't want to work here anymore.

I'll update again as soon as I can. Unless the mold puts me out of my misery first.

even quicker update

Blood patch was successful yesterday, however we spent the entire day at the doc. I ended up with migraine from hell for whatever reason, and by the time we picked Bubba up from the sitter I was positive I was dying. Made it home, crashed on the couch, moaning. Took two (normally I only take one) sleeping pills and woke up with no headache around 3 am. Then managed to oversleep, because W didn't hear my alarm (I stayed on the couch.) W woke up with ANOTHER headache, but don't know if it is spinal or just migraine. I've had about enough.

Side note: My sitter is quitting after Thursday and I have no alternative child care, except for W. Which is no big deal except we have a bunch of doc appointments upcoming and Bubba cannot attend them. Must find a preschool or something, but I have no time to research and go visit, etc. etc. BLAH!

quick update

How do I put this without sounding totally pathetic? W's procedure went. How's that. I don't wanna say it went good, because that would imply he's getting relief from the thingamajig, and he's not. I don't wanna say it went bad because the surgeon didn't actually have to cut him, like we expected. However, since he DIDN'T cut him, he didn't get optimal placement so he's not getting much relief. Also, he's been the lucky recipient of a spinal headache, and any ladies out there who had complications after an epidural for childbirth will know what I mean. Basically it means he's had to be flat on his back for as much as possible since we got home Friday night. So, things have been crappy here....There may be a trip back to the doctor tomorrow, depending on what they say when he calls in the morning. They weren't concerned when I called them yesterday morning with our concerns about the headache. When someone who's gone to the hospital for a migraine in the past says it's worse than his worst migraine, I'M CONCERNED!!!!!

One positive thing to say. Here's the link to the Muzik Mafia webpage showing me as one of the winners of the trivia contest. YAY! http://www.muzikmafia.com/gonecountrytrivia.php

Catch y'all soon, hopefully with better news about W. Now off to bed. Gonna be another long day tomorrow.

If...

noone hears from me for a while, it's because I'm jail for killing my fucking asshole dickhead shitbag husband. Think I can manage that when he's still 750 miles away? Anyone wanna add any insult names? Most of mine entail some variation of fuck.