July 31, 2009

long, boring, rant-filled update

I should apologize for non-posting, but what's the difference? I should say I'll try to write more, but why? I think all of you that read my blog have the ability to follow me on Facebook, and I enjoy short little blurbs as status updates there and they obviously don't take as long to type. I WILL however, put as much into the post as I can, as a full and complete update on the many goings on in my world.

OFFICE: it sucks, as usual, but I'm still grateful to have a job at all, even one that I dislike and that drives my stress level to outrageous degrees. Boss1 fell and broke his wrist, and has been in a cast for two weeks, with about four more to go. He's not signed a thing since, so all the motions we've done lately have MY version of his signature along with my initials. I don't like signing the motions, but I don't have any choice. It does speed up the processing of new files, because I don't have to pile things up for him to sign. I just do them, print them, sign them, copy them and fax/mail them and it's done. Boss2 is also busy with various stuff, and sometimes it is hard to juggle it all, but that's what I'm paid to do, so I do it.

STATION: That's going well. After a drought of hours the past few weeks, I'm fully booked this weekend, and the following two. I haven't been on air for a while, but I will be this weekend. It is good and bad to be this busy with the station, good for the pocket book, bad for family time. But I gotta do something, we're barely squeaking by again.

HUSBAND: I don't even know where to begin with this. His back is no better, which is as expected. He has developed some other complications, basically related to the nerve damage. Edema. Swelling, retaining of water to the non medically inclined. Mainly in his feet and legs. When it's acting up bad, he has no ankles. It causes his feet to hurt really bad (on top of the back pain, yay) and they are both very discolored and he's got reduced feeling to them as well. Workers Comp is still fighting us about it being related to his back, so of course, they aren't paying for the scripts (now three, up from one) he's taking to combat the problem. Some days he can't walk. He still has really bad insomnia, even after taking sleeping pills, on top of all the other meds. He's a walking pharmacy worse than he was a year ago. He's also been falling. Not a lot, but everytime it scares me to death. It will only take one time when I'm not there, for him to bonk his head, or break his neck, or something. That's a stress inducer, too.

BUBBA: Ornery as hell, but what should I expect, he's almost six. Poor kid has had a rough ride lately, with mama being stress out and impatient, and daddy being a drugged up basic invalid. I try to make things as normal as I can for him but he's not dummy. He knows money is an issue, which is something I never wanted to be obvious to him. He starts kindergarten in 24 days. I am so excited, but nervous. I want him to do well, and fit in and make friends. But he's a bossy git, and doesn't listen (at least to me) and I don't want him getting in trouble at school, etc. He's so damn smart, and can easily make me laugh, and I love that about him. He still loves music, just like his mama. When I got a new MP3 player, he sort of inherited my old one and he walks around the house with his headphones on singing along and pretending to play guitar. He's also addicted to Star Wars, the Clone Wars stuff on whatever channel it's on. The Wii game helped that addiction along a bit. He's got lightsabres on the brain, walks around pretending there are clankers everywhere and such. He spent two weeks up in PA with Grammy and all. We went up for the 4th of July, and left him. He had a blast. Got spoiled rotten of course.

INLAWS: Same drama going on there. The wedding I already spent 170 bucks on for a dress and shoes that was set for October is officially 'postponed' at this point. Whatever. He's better off not getting hitched until they work out their issues, I'm just miffed over the money. It may all work out, and the dress is something I could wear if I ever had a black tie even to go to. haahahahahh. someday maybe, huh. The whole crew is coming down the same week Bubba starts school, for a week, along with little niece, L. They will be in a beach house, just like for Hoser's wedding, just not as close to the beach, but will still be awesome.

NEPHEW: Has shown improvement, last I heard with the plasma treatments he's been having. He's been weaning off the gobs of eye drops he's been using, not sure how often he gets them now. They removed the pic line because of the risk of infection. He won't be starting school this fall, which sucks because he could have been in the same class as Bubba. There's enough drama in that situation for two days of writing so I won't go into all of it.

CAMPING: We've done a few trips close to home with the camper, which were very fun. Mother's day and Father's day weekends, actually. The campground is right on a lake, so I could fish and fish and fish. However, we didn't catch and catch and catch. It was soo hot the second time we went, we were pretty much holed up in the camper except for mornings and evenings...looking forward to cooler weather to do it some more.

FISHING: Finally squeezed in a fishing trip to our other fishing hole as well. I caught a bunch of blue gill and a very very mean turtle. Bubba doesn't fish as much as he plays bait boy and just mainly runs around burning off energy. He'll do more actual fishing as he gets older I hope.

MISCELLANY - So the other day, I discovered a crack in the floor of the shower in our bathroom. The bathroom that gave me headaches last year when we had to remodel it. Luckily it's under warranty, however only to the point that they'll replace the base of the shower, no labor coverage. In the meantime I must shower in the spare bathroom again, which blows. I'm really trying not to bitch about it, cause there's nothing I can do. I will bitch about however much it's gonna cost us in labor, cause that totally sucks.

WEATHER: Stormy, is the best way to describe it. Lots of storms, just about every afternoon/evening....one is brewing while I type this. Hurricane season is well upon us, with no problems so far. I don't want any hurricanes this year. I don't need the stress of evacuating on top of everything else. Tho, if the house gets demolished, I won't have to worry about paying for a mortgage, would I? KIDDING.

RANT: I'm just overly frustrated with the status of my life right now. I never dreamed, even when W first got hurt that things would turn out this bad. Worker's comp in OCTOBER deemed him at MMI (maximum medical improvement) and closed the file and prepped to settle...it's now AUGUST and we haven't settled, and I don't even want to. He's getting worse by the day, and noone seems to care. I refuse to believe there is nothing for them to attempt to get him somewhat better. Are they just hoping he'll croak or something in the meantime so they don't have to pay anymore? We keep going back and forth with what to do with whatever settlement money we DO get and we aren't agreeing. He says one thing, me another, and then he is all like, it's MY money, I'll do what I want and yadda yadda yadda. But if he does something like that, I have no way to pay for the car or the house and so on.

I don't spend enough time with Bubba and I feel incredibly guilty about it, with every extra shift at the station, more guilt. I KNOW that money isn't all things, but dammit, I need to be able to pay the bills, and every so often have some fun money, and if I don't work, that doesn't happen. Between work, and trying to keep the house clean, the grass cut, the groceries bought, etc. there just isn't enough time in the day.

I'm worried about my old cat Jack. We're pretty sure it's him that is drinking excessively and urinating excessively. NOT a good sign in a 12 year old cat. I'm having to clean the cat box daily, when I used to be able to skip at least one day in between. If I don't, there's mess on the floor, which takes MORE time to clean up, and see above about not enough time as it is. I don't know how I'd handle him up and dying, but I better start preparing myself. Bubba won't handle that too well, either. Ugh.

Okay, my brain is fried. If I missed anything, sorry..I am not editing, either, so deal with the typos/spelling/whatever. Anything YOU want updated on, ask and I'll respond as soon as I can.

Just about done at the station for tonite. I'll be back for a race tomorrow and Sunday, not sure how much computing I'll do in the meantime.

Love you all, and thanks for listening. And Sp, thanks for the Facebook chat tonite. It was nice and hopefully we won't take so long to do it again.


Ornery Sheep said...

I'm don't want to come across as a mean bastard or anything, but when I read everything you go through for your family and then W says 'Well, it's MY money...' I couldn't hold my tongue. You're supporting your family, it's not his money, it's your(plural) money, and you both should decide what to do with it. And I bet your ideas are a lot more sensible than his are.

Beachgal said...

totally agree, and he is talking out of his ass. It's all moot at this point, I doubt it will ever settle anyway.

Missy said...

I am so sorry you are all going threw this. Life just takes a shit on ya at times.

J. Cullinane said...

Jen, sorry I haven't responded earlier. I am so sad to hear what a heavy weight is on your shoulders right now. I know there's nothing I can really do for you, but send you my well wishes (which isn't much, really). I'm thinking about you and hoping your husband's situation improves, either with the crappy bureaucracy or with his own help. Love, J.